Day 20, morning

Yesterday and last night were pretty much unchanged for Kathy. The ultrasound showed, we think definitively, that the vaso spasms have run their course…a giant relief. The problem now is that the intracranial pressure (ICP) remains too high and, although she is responding to the medications they apply to control it, the dosages are at the highest levels possible without causing other damage, and the duration of their effectiveness seems to be lessening. The ICPs, like the vaso spasms, almost always have a window of time to run their course, and we are hopeful that Kathy’s is ICPs are nearing their end. All other systems (pulmonary, liver and kidney function, circulatory, others) have remained good throughout Kathy’s stay here. When the ICPs have diminished to a safe level Dr. Zauner, we believe, will tell us it’s time to pull back on the paralytics, then on the sedatives and – wake her up!

Kathy and I have several routines. Here’s one. On days when Kathy works, she usually returns home sometime shortly before 8 pm. I’ll usually be reading something, and around 7:30 I’ll start getting this glowing sensation of expectancy: I listen for the wonderful rumble of the garage door opening. When I hear it I jump up, go to the door at the top of the stairs Kathy comes up from the garage. I listen for her footsteps, then try to open the door just as she reaches the last step. She comes in, puts down whatever she’s carrying, and I wrap my arms around her, give her three big bear hugs starting at her waist and working upward, then give her a squeeze on her lovely tush. Then we pour two glasses of wine and talk about our day.

I can’t wait to get that glowing sensation back. When Dr. Zauner gives the word, it will be something like hearing the rumble of the garage door.

Your prayers are truly sustaining.

14 Comments on Day 20, morningYesterday and last night were pretty

  1. Don’t forget the foot massage! She’ll be wanting to get caught up on those when she’s HOME! Our prayers continue for a swift awakening. All our love, Lola and Manny

  2. I am sitting here reading your blog with tears streaming. Kathy is an amazing, strong, beautiful and generous woman and you are just the right kind of WONDERFUL to be at her side. About 18 years ago or youngest son contacted a bizarre viral pneumonia at the age of 20 months. He went from being a healthy little guy to the next day being in the hospital and then quickly transferred to Sacramento pediatric ICU on a ventilator. We saw many specialists come through daily and finally one of the doctors asked if we believe in the power of prayer. I do! She mentioned that they were doing all they could to help but the rest was in God’s hands. They had been trying to wein him off the meds and wake him up from his chemically induced coma. Many tries without success. It was finally on a Sunday morning when our church family were all praying and fasting for him that he was able to be strong enough to push through. Miracles happen, I KNOW they do! Consider all of us who know and love Kathy that community. I are gathering or prayers (and today I’m fasting) together on her behalf and your family! Come on Kathy! Love, Wendi

  3. Come On Kathy. It is so good to hear the vaso spasms have finally stopped. I’m sure the ICP will go down soon too. With all the love and support she is getting, how could it not?
    I’m thinking about you and Kathy every day and thinking positive thoughts. Stay strong, it won’t be long now.
    Allen K. McGann

  4. Kathy would brag a little at work , saying that you Always gave her a back rub the night before she had to go to work, the famous 12 hour shifts that feel longer and longer to us nurses the more calendar years we add up in that hospital building…Thanks for filling in the rest of the story about what happens when she gets home from that day… for this and a multitude of other amazing dudely attributes..You remain The Gold Standard of Dudes for Nurses, Richard!!! Love to the girls, love to Kathy.. Laurel and I are just about finished putting all the prayer flag squares together….It is an amazing enormous checkerboard rainbow of love, Stacy…(finney is currently snoring his love to you!)

  5. The love you have for Kathy is what shines through her! Your adoration for each other is an example to us all! May the time drawn near so that you can bear hug her again! Praying for you all, COME ON KATHY!! Love, Arlene

  6. What an example of True Love! I know that will bring her through… all of our Love.So glad the spasms have settled down, now the ICP and we are all waiting patiently to talk to our Kathy again! Thinking of you both every day and sending all my love and strength.

  7. I haven’t written a reply yet, although I read your entries daily. I have been trying to figure out a way to help you and Kathy, a way to make an impact. I kept coming back to your entry about Kathy wanting to stop at a church or cathedral during your travels to light a candle for someone in need of a saints intervention. So, today at 2:00, a group of us will be meeting at the Mission in SLO to light a candle, say a prayer and give a collective “Come on, Kathy” for our beautiful KO.

    I, like Kathy, grew up Catholic. But, in the last couple of decades I haven’t spent much time in the church or much time praying. Five years ago, I had to spend the better part of the year fighting for my life. I had people all over this country praying for me and my family, one of them being Kathy. I found the power of prayer to be emotionally and physically healing. I know today, around 2:00, our Kathy will feel our collective prayer.

    Thank you, Richard, for allowing us to enter your world and for sharing the love you have for our sweet girl. Stay strong. And, remember, whatever you need, the answer is yes. Please just let us know. Love to you and your family.

  8. I think my garage door just went up reading your inspired words, Richard. Our continued thoughts and prayers from Bermuda.

  9. Kathy, last week, on those almost unbearably hot Paso days, I went to pool to cool off. As it got busier in the larger, unsheltered pool, I went to the covered salt-water pool, and found I had it all to myself. Growing up on Atlantic Ocean in Nova Scotia, I spent my summers at our family cottage. Those are my favourite childhood memories. I loved your niece’s description of her memories visiting you and Richard in Morro Bay… As a child, I loved floating on my back without moving my body, listening to the muffled sounds of my heart beating, and distant sounds of life so seemingly far off in the distance. In that salt-water pool I thought of you Kathy. I wondered if you were listening to the whir of machines, and the bleeps of alarms, and muffled voices of daily hospital life, while clearly hearing Richard’s voice whispering how much he loves you… Through the slats on the pool roof, glimpses of sunlight filtered through, flittering like a kaleidoscope. I imagined you waking that way…. now it’s time to come back Kathy…. Love Anne

  10. such warm and loving notes from so many; it is a testament to you both how much people care, and what a wonderful presence you are in the lives of so many. Sending more good thoughts to you today!

  11. Dearest Richard and Kathy,

    Every day I pray for you two. For strength, kathy’s return to health and your peace of mind. Bill and I love and respect you both. Soon I pray to hear that all is well and though the road may be long, you will enjoy one another’s love for many more years. With my love to you both.

    Dani

  12. I’m sure Kathy can’t wait to wake up either to get her 3 bear hugs! I have lots of fellow friends and nurses praying for a quick recovery. As Stacy puts it you are the gold standard of Dudes! Kathy is one lucky lady to have you as her husband. Come on Kathy, we all are waiting to see your beautiful smile and personality!

  13. When you do that. Give her a pat on the butt for me. Prayers are with you. Love you guys

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