Day 50

Kathy’s progress over the past week has been incremental, steady and encouraging beyond anything the medical team studying her over the past month and a half had foreseen. It’s not that she has recovered all or even a major part her life that we enjoyed at the time she had her stroke. But even small advances can foretell potential changes that will bring us closer to that place. A wiggling of her right-hand thumb, something I’d been encouraging her to do it seems hourly for a week, finally happened several days ago. Then, a day later, her whole hand moved. And now she raises her arm all the way up to her head to re-position the adorable hat (thanks Jillian!) she wears over her bandaged head.

Bandaged because, two days ago, the “bone flap” that had been removed from her skull and placed in her tummy to allow her swollen brain room to expand, has now been returned to its former location. Her hair has begun to grow back, and I can truthfully assure all of you who have ever ungenerously suspected her of altering her lovely locks from their natural blond tones, you have been sorely mistaken.

As I’ve said, she does speak…loving sentiments and with her own lovely voice.  But speaking doesn’t come easily to her, and she will need many sessions of speech therapy, and many months of our working together (once I learn some of the therapists’ tricks) before she’ll be close to normal… with luck and hard work we’ll get there.

With the help of two dedicated people she can be brought to sit unsteadily at the side of her bed and then transferred to a special chair where she can survey from an upright perch her new world in Ridley-Tree One (downstairs from SICU).  

The NG tube (the tube feeding her through her nose) has been disposed of, and Kathy has admitted culpability for willfully having removed it herself in the dead of night while she was unattended. As I feared, my reprimands have come to nothing. It’s been decided that the NG won’t be replaced, and that instead we’ll see how she does without it.

Yesterday she had a Modified Barium Swallow study, which our friend Larry tells me is the gold standard for identifying and addressing swallowing disorders, something Kathy (and her therapists and nurses and I) will need to work on diligently and for quite some time. She will be confined to a strict diet of carefully chosen food textures and thickened liquids, and will need to follow strict swallowing protocols (head positioning for example), and required to have close supervision at all times when she is swallowing food, drink and medicines. Today I had the exquisite pleasure of assisting the speech therapist feed Kathy at her noontime meal, and of feeding her by myself at her evening meal (Kathy herself was the assistant spoon carrier that time).

Soon she will be discharged either to a “skilled nursing facility” or to an “acute rehabilitation facility,” either of which will be here in the Santa Barbara area.  It’s questionable whether she is ready for an acute rehab facility such as Cottage Hospital Rehab, as that would require four hours/day of focused therapy, which Kathy might not be able to do at this stage in her recovery.

 I have decided to keep her in this area primarily because I really want her eventually to be placed, hopefully very soon, in the Cottage Hospital Rehab facility, which by every account I’ve heard has a stellar therapy group. Transporting her to SLO, and then very soon back to Santa Barbara, would put an unnecessary burden on her…even moving her for two minutes through the hospital halls to one or another of her procedures and surgeries taxes her mind and body so much that it pains me to watch.

I hope to return to Morro Bay soon for a one-day turnaround to collect items Kathy (and I) will need for the long haul of Kathy’s rehabilitation (it will be my first return home in over a month and a half, and only the second time ever that I will have returned home either without her beside me, or without her waiting for me there).

She is looking lovelier than ever, especially with her sunny smile under the beautiful, madcap and  – it must be said – preposterously large Himalayan prayer flag quilt so lovingly made by Stacy, Laurel, and several dozens of contributors, many of whom I’m guessing had no idea of the hidden artist within them. Beneath it Kathy is transported into a truly otherworldly realm.

24 Comments on

  2. What wonderful news – thank you so much for this Richard. Way to go Kathy!!! Had to laugh about the NG tube removal – showing your strength of spirit, and independence…. Here’s to your continuing progress – love and hugs…

  3. the most delicious blog post so far !! sending more love and affection! There’s lots of room under the blankie for you TWO.. so get under there with Kathy and cuddle!! tears of JOY!! stacy

  4. So happy to hear the news! She is feisty, I know that about Kathy!! Sending lots of love to you both, know that we are all with you in this journey…

  6. What a blessing for you to hear the sweet song of your wife’s voice. While celebrating my birthday last week i was also celebrating her first words. The power of the human spirit is amazing and I’m still singing the Beatles “C’mon ” to Kathy. God bless you both.

  7. These are some of the happiest words I’ve ever read! Thank you Richard, for taking time away from your incredibly filled days, and time that takes you away from your beloved Kathy…to write this news. What a brilliant day! Manny and me love you both so very much, and can’t wait to see you again, hand in hand and smiling grand. Bravo Kathy! Bravo! xo

  9. Woot! Woot! So wonderful to hear of your progress, Kathy.
    Prayers continue from this end for complete recovery! Come on Kathy! Much love.

  10. Each and every step is wonderful and amazing. Thank you again for sharing with us all, Richard. Love to you both. ~sherri and sam

  11. We love you Kathy! Dick, I know you are sharing everyones messages of love and support with her so she feels our collective hug from around the state/country/world. Please know that love and support goes to you as well. Your love helped bring her back, and will help her finish this journey. Mega hugs as always!!!! Love, Anna, Aaron, Waylon & Avalon

  12. Fantastic news. We are all sure that Kathy will be working harder than anyone ever has to get her life back. Richard, she is a Warrior Woman and nothing is going to stop her now. We are all pulling for you Kathy.
    Allen K. McGann

  14. Great encouraging news! Thanks for your update, Richard. I continue to wish you both all the best! May love surround you. Go Kathy!

  15. Mitch and I are so happy to hear the news of steady progress! Days without news are hard but we understand how busy you are. Now we also get to see how patient you also are. Devotion you have in Abundance. And with Kathy’s feistiness and strength and love of life you are a winning team. We love you both so much!!!

  17. What wonderful, wonderful news! I am sending big hugs to you both, and am imagining you both in that sunny place, happily smiling and just loving the gift of each other’s company. So happy right now!!!!

  18. HAVE ANXIOUSLY AWAITED YOUR NEWS, AND I JUST KNEW IN MY HEART THAT IT WOULD BE GREAT, THE LONG ROAD AHEAD , WILL NOT BE EASY,BUT THAT STUBBORN GERMAN THAT I REMEMBER SO WELL WHEN WE WERE KIDS, WILL KICK IN WITH ALL THE PRAYERS AND GOOD WISHES FROM ALL, SHE CAN FORGE AHEAD , KNOWING THAT SHE IS LOVED BY ALL. WONDER ,SUCH DEVOTION RICHARD, IS SPLENDID

  19. Dearest Richard and Kathy,

    I am pleased beyondeasure to hear all of the wonderful advances you are both making to recovery. I understand how long the process is and will be so every bit of news, no matter how small is deeply encouraging. Bill and I love you both and are cheering you on and continue prayers.

    Yours,
    Dani

  20. Oh my gosh, I’m so pleased to hear this update. I am frequently checking my phone for these emails, I am always thinking about you guys there with love in my heart. Very exciting to hear news. Thank you so much Richard for taking your precious time to do this for us. You both are amazing! Love you both! I would so love to see you Kathy when the time comes that you are up to that. Patiently waiting. Diane

  21. Everything sounds so very encouraging! I’m so glad you have been able to finally be able to really help care for her by feeding her and, I’m sure, help her move and communicate. It must have been difficult before because you weren’t able to see how your whispers and touch helped her recover (although they surely did).
    If you need help cleaning out your refrigerator or any perishables in your pantry, please let me know and I will be glad to help.
    Give Kathy my love,
    Laurel

  22. Dear Richard,
    I haven’t written before. It somehow seems so personal and before this I honestly did not know Kathy so …… personally. I am so thankful to know her now through you, and I am even more thankful that I will have the opportunity to know her better in person someday soon. Thank you for sharing. She is a beautiful soul and you have shared a beautiful life together. I am incredibly happy that you will continue to make great memories together. My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you all daily.
    Sincerely,
    Natasha Raja

  23. Come on Kathy!!! That expression is so great because it can be written as a prayer, a cheer or congratulations on amazing progress. It’s so good to read about her amazing steps forward. Kathy you are amazing! You can do it!

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